Trouble at Sea
So I thought I would give you all an update of what we have been up to this last 6 Months!
During November/December, We embarked on round 2 of IVF and due to having no frosties, had to start the process right from the beginning. Fortunately, tis round yielded 4 embryos, one was used as a fresh transfer and 3 were frozen should we need the, unfortunately we do need them, this round also resulted in another BFN Just before Christmas.
Experience can be a wonderful thing and we knew what to expect in the aftermath, so booked ourselves a cheeky little cruise for Christmas - to give ourselves time to reflect and grieve away from the watchful eyes of our ever-supporting family.
This was the first time we had cruised independently, and our first time with a budget cruise line... what can I say? I was promised a floating Butlins - it was more like Benidorm on a boat.
I knew we where sailing into rough-waters when we were being shown to our cabin by our steward; he was muttering something about having separated the beds - standard start to any holiday for thirty-something lesbians! Honestly the one thing I hate about travel is having to come out all over again to complete strangers - you would think it would get easier after 5 years of marriage but to be honest, I don’t know who was more embarrassed - me or the cabin steward. It was agreed that we would make do for this evening and that tomorrow the bed would be reverted back to a double. After the awkward encounter, we quickly dumped our luggage and headed out to hunt some food and due to a delayed flight, the only thing open was the buffet.
Food is always my favourite thing about cruising: I love the choice, I love the break from the mundane ‘English’ food we eat at home so I was bitterly disappointed with the choice of bangers and mash or bartted cod with french fries - I opted for the cod. Horrifyingly, after a couple of disappointing mouthfuls, I was stunned to find a small black hair in the batter - a quick glance behind confirmed my worse suspicion - the chef was bald!
Needless to say, we abandoned dinner and went on the hunt for something more lucrative -after all we where post-failed-IVF and having abstained from alcohol for three months, we wanted to make the most of the all-inclusive drinks package! It didn’t take long for a waiter to seek us out and offer us a drink so I asked to see the wine list; I was told: Red, white or rose. Excellent, I thought, they have 3 separate wine lists; I’m sure to find a nice Chateau or a suitable Malbec - I’ll take the red wine list please. The waiter came back with 2 large glasses of Red wine. Apparently that WAS the wine list - red white or rose. After the first glass the wine no longer resembled vinegar and after the fourth glass, I’d almost kidded myself it was in fact a nice chateau!
We where supposed to set sail at 10pm, but due to another very late flight (damn you Gatwick drones) it was now 1am and we where still in dock, so we decided to throw the towel in and go to bed. I was pretty inebriated by now and it didn’t take me long to fall asleep in my single bed, at 4 am. However, I woke in such a start; the late flight must have arrived and the captain had begun firing up the engines. Then the real noise started. It was like a hydraulic-breaker vibrating on the ceiling. My wife, who never swears, sat bolt-up-right in bed and proclaimed, “You better be fucking kidding me!” In a chivalrous manner I rose from my bed, sure I could resolve this and resume my peaceful slumber In my drunken state, I’d somehow remembered reading somewhere that most of the noise in your cabin is caused by the vibration of the bathroom door and that if you wedge it with a sock, it would subdue it - so that’s what I did. Needless to say, it didn’t make an iota of difference. I then notice the ceiling panels themselves vibrating - ahah! Cracked it! I reached up with both hands to hold them still; the loud noise stopped! Success! As a stood there in my negligé, I realised I had to figure out a way of permanently keeping the ceiling flush... After about 5 minutes, my arms where starting to drop off, I felt like a strong man holding up a building , I looked like a cave man with bed head.
"Enough," my wife said. "Stop standing like a prick - the noise stopped 5 bloody minutes ago when the ship stopped reversing." Relived, I went and put myself to bed -not before tripping over the sock wedged in the bathroom door.
The rest of the cruise went by in a bit of haze, and by cruise I mean booze-cruise, and by haze I mean drunken-haze! We very quickly learnt our fellow passengers had only booked this all-inclusive Christmas cruise as a massive piss up so we figured, if you can’t beat the pigs-in-blankets, you might as well join them!
Either way we returned home feeling fresh and renewed; we had laughed and cried our way through, what was for us, a very emotional Christmas. As we reflected on 2018 we agreed for us personally, it was one of the worse and most challenging years of our life (not to mention expensive) but we have still managed lots of laughs along the way.
Anyway, I’ve never been a big fan of even numbers so here’s hoping 2019 is our year.
During November/December, We embarked on round 2 of IVF and due to having no frosties, had to start the process right from the beginning. Fortunately, tis round yielded 4 embryos, one was used as a fresh transfer and 3 were frozen should we need the, unfortunately we do need them, this round also resulted in another BFN Just before Christmas.
Experience can be a wonderful thing and we knew what to expect in the aftermath, so booked ourselves a cheeky little cruise for Christmas - to give ourselves time to reflect and grieve away from the watchful eyes of our ever-supporting family.
This was the first time we had cruised independently, and our first time with a budget cruise line... what can I say? I was promised a floating Butlins - it was more like Benidorm on a boat.
I knew we where sailing into rough-waters when we were being shown to our cabin by our steward; he was muttering something about having separated the beds - standard start to any holiday for thirty-something lesbians! Honestly the one thing I hate about travel is having to come out all over again to complete strangers - you would think it would get easier after 5 years of marriage but to be honest, I don’t know who was more embarrassed - me or the cabin steward. It was agreed that we would make do for this evening and that tomorrow the bed would be reverted back to a double. After the awkward encounter, we quickly dumped our luggage and headed out to hunt some food and due to a delayed flight, the only thing open was the buffet.
Food is always my favourite thing about cruising: I love the choice, I love the break from the mundane ‘English’ food we eat at home so I was bitterly disappointed with the choice of bangers and mash or bartted cod with french fries - I opted for the cod. Horrifyingly, after a couple of disappointing mouthfuls, I was stunned to find a small black hair in the batter - a quick glance behind confirmed my worse suspicion - the chef was bald!
Needless to say, we abandoned dinner and went on the hunt for something more lucrative -after all we where post-failed-IVF and having abstained from alcohol for three months, we wanted to make the most of the all-inclusive drinks package! It didn’t take long for a waiter to seek us out and offer us a drink so I asked to see the wine list; I was told: Red, white or rose. Excellent, I thought, they have 3 separate wine lists; I’m sure to find a nice Chateau or a suitable Malbec - I’ll take the red wine list please. The waiter came back with 2 large glasses of Red wine. Apparently that WAS the wine list - red white or rose. After the first glass the wine no longer resembled vinegar and after the fourth glass, I’d almost kidded myself it was in fact a nice chateau!
We where supposed to set sail at 10pm, but due to another very late flight (damn you Gatwick drones) it was now 1am and we where still in dock, so we decided to throw the towel in and go to bed. I was pretty inebriated by now and it didn’t take me long to fall asleep in my single bed, at 4 am. However, I woke in such a start; the late flight must have arrived and the captain had begun firing up the engines. Then the real noise started. It was like a hydraulic-breaker vibrating on the ceiling. My wife, who never swears, sat bolt-up-right in bed and proclaimed, “You better be fucking kidding me!” In a chivalrous manner I rose from my bed, sure I could resolve this and resume my peaceful slumber In my drunken state, I’d somehow remembered reading somewhere that most of the noise in your cabin is caused by the vibration of the bathroom door and that if you wedge it with a sock, it would subdue it - so that’s what I did. Needless to say, it didn’t make an iota of difference. I then notice the ceiling panels themselves vibrating - ahah! Cracked it! I reached up with both hands to hold them still; the loud noise stopped! Success! As a stood there in my negligé, I realised I had to figure out a way of permanently keeping the ceiling flush... After about 5 minutes, my arms where starting to drop off, I felt like a strong man holding up a building , I looked like a cave man with bed head.
"Enough," my wife said. "Stop standing like a prick - the noise stopped 5 bloody minutes ago when the ship stopped reversing." Relived, I went and put myself to bed -not before tripping over the sock wedged in the bathroom door.
The rest of the cruise went by in a bit of haze, and by cruise I mean booze-cruise, and by haze I mean drunken-haze! We very quickly learnt our fellow passengers had only booked this all-inclusive Christmas cruise as a massive piss up so we figured, if you can’t beat the pigs-in-blankets, you might as well join them!
Either way we returned home feeling fresh and renewed; we had laughed and cried our way through, what was for us, a very emotional Christmas. As we reflected on 2018 we agreed for us personally, it was one of the worse and most challenging years of our life (not to mention expensive) but we have still managed lots of laughs along the way.
Anyway, I’ve never been a big fan of even numbers so here’s hoping 2019 is our year.
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